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Plans and decisions don’t always align. Photo by Lubo Minar on Unsplash |
Have you ever hovered on the precipice of a major decision, wondering if the path you planned is the right one?
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Not a life-and-death decision, but still a difficult one. Photo by Joshua Sukoff on Unsplash |
We did, but we plunged ahead anyway. At one point, Wayne pondered aloud, “Are we doing this because it’s what we really want to do, or because it fits some image of what others expect us to do?” We tried to convince ourselves it was the former.
The Backstory: How did we get here?
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S/V Gallivant, a Gulfstar 45, sailing the Bahamas Grand Banks February 2021. Photo courtesy Christine of s/v Scintilla. |
Late summer 2020 we decided on “COVID plan #27″—buying a sailboat to return to the Caribbean. We sold the trawler we’d lived aboard since 2017.
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Our Puget Trawler, M/V Serendipity, at Princess Louisa Inlet, British Columbia, Canada. Sold, to buy our sailboat. |
We bought an RV to move us and everything we owned to Florida to find a sailboat.
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“The Beast” our RV before it got hit. Here it’s parked at BLM land, in Torrey Utah, near Capitol Reef National Park. |
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Capitol Reef National Park; one of the many stunning places we saw on our cross-country RV trip as we headed to Florida to buy our sailboat. |
Along the way, another driver whose interpretation of merge was overly assertive slammed our RV into a guardrail. Everyone walked and drove away, and her generous insurance company gave us two years to turn the RV over to collect a check.
We arrived in Florida, parked our RV in Fort Pierce and started boat shopping in earnest.
Decisions, Decisions: What Boat to Get?
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S/V Journey, our boat from 2012 to 2017—a Pearson 365. At 36 1/2 feet it was just right for the two of us but too small for all but Wayne’s dad and his wife Gunnel, both intrepid sailors, to join us. |
Wayne wanted go with what we knew, and buy another tried-and-true, affordable Pearson, like the 36 1/2 Pearson 365 ketch we took through 31 countries, across the Pacific and sold in Australia.
I wanted a bigger boat because when I asked our friends and family who said they wanted to join us if they’d be willing to do without having their own closed-door cabin, most said no. I also wasn’t ready to recommit to another 3-5 years with no home base and 150 square feet of living space.
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Gulfstar 45s like our s/v Gallivant are designed with a captain’s quarters and a guest room; each with doors that can close for privacy. |
Wayne reluctantly agreed to a bigger boat.
Because boating is a COVID-safe activity, the boat market went crazy and inventory was at an all-time low. We put in an offer on a larger Pearson, but I was concerned it was too much of a fixer. Then our friends Don and Maryann decided they wanted to sell their sailboat and get a trawler and asked: “if we knew anyone interested.” Of course, we bit. Then we got cold feet. Then we came around, but we were still nervous about whether this was the move for us.
We Buy the Boat & Go
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Taking the plunge. Photo by Blake Wheeler on Unsplash |
My Prius and our RV, before we determined the towing it wouldn’t work. I drove it cross-country, then sold it, as well as the bikes you see on the back of the RV. |
Back to the Beautiful Balmy Bahamas: The Same Only Different
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This is not Photoshopped. The Bahamas water really is this clear and blue. This photo shot from Gallivant in the Bahamas earlier this year. |
I posted photos and videos of how well our sailboat sailed, of the Bahamas’ clear aqua waters, of luxuriating in the warm weather while our friends in the Pacific Northwest froze.
In Georgetown’s Elizabeth Harbour, with only 125 boats versus the usual 300-600, there was plenty of room to anchor. We were often the first dinghy at the town dock when previously getting to the dock might mean getting past triple-parked dinghies.
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Elizabeth Harbour, the Bahamas, near Georgetown in “the height of the season” April 2021 —drastically fewer boats. |
While we buddy-boated with our friends on Scintilla, none of our friends from Jacksonville left Florida. There were no bonding cruiser potlucks on the beach from years of yore. High winds kept us from making it back to the Raggeds, and friends who did, told us Duncantown’s population shrank from 70 to 20. I’d hoped to see Marjorie in Duncantown again, but her shop no longer existed.
Our friends Chris and Chris’ boat, s/v Scintilla at Warderick Wells, Bahamas. Gallivant is parked further in the background. |
We also spent a lot of time hunkered aboard in 20-knot-plus winds. We didn’t like it much but our wind generator loved it; it did a great job of keeping our boat powered up.
We always wanted to spend more time there and less time getting there, and this time we did that a bit more, especially taking our time in the Georgetown area and in Eleuthera.
The Journey vs the Destination
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It took us over a month at sea to sail from the Galapagos to the French Marquesas in Journey. But we’ve decided we’re done with passages for a while. |
We came back a bit earlier than planned, to give ourselves more time to spend exploring the US East Coast. We’ve always liked arriving more than sailing, which may seem odd for a couple who’s sailed halfway around the world. Although we spent 31 days sailing from Galapagos to the French Marquesas in our Pearson, we found ourselves dreading overnight passages. This time we did only one overnight passage, and we didn’t want to do more.
We started rethinking whether we wanted to sail to the Caribbean again, which would require some multi-day overnight passages or a very slow trip down island-hopping. Wayne still pined a return to New Zealand (by air, not boat), though I doubted New Zealand would booking from American early enough for us to go there in our winter/their summer November-ish 2021.
We Noticed We Were Dragging Our Feet
Once we got to St. Augustine, we stalled on or progress up the eastern seaboard. Over the years, I’ve learned to recognize that not to decide is in itself a decision—one that begs for soul-searching.
Are We Having Fun Yet?
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Sunrise, Hatchett Bay, Eleuthera, our first time there in 2014. |
We named our boat Gallivant, which is defined as traveling for pleasure because that is what we wanted to do. So we asked ourselves, were we having fun? Was the fun-to-suck-ratio more fun or more suck?
Other than the stress of boat-shopping, we thoroughly enjoyed our winter in Fort Pierce—more than we did our time aboard. I craved more stability, routine, a normal toilet, a shower that didn’t require a bilge pump, the ability to participate in video conferences without killing my internet access, a stationary address. Wayne missed the RV couch—simple pleasures most folks we know take for granted.
Pivot Time
We turned around and headed back south to Fort Pierce. We found marina space, contacted a broker, and listed our boat (here’s our listing).
We are working on where we’ll live once the boat sells. Even if we get an offer right away, it’s still at least a 6-week to 2-month process before offers, surveys, haul-outs, insurance verification, etc. reach the point of the final sale. Worst case, while we figure out where to call home, we’ll still travel the east coast this summer—by car or camper or RV and just rent an apartment somewhere.
This is where we stayed when we boat-shopped and may be where we’ll call home. |
I know I will miss seeing the sun rise and set over the water and the starry sky far from city lights too much to give up boating forever. I am sure our boating days and adventures are far from over, whether we join friends on their boats, charter, or buy something trailer-able. Our goal is to spend less time on the journey and more time enjoying the destination.
I still have some great stories to share from our Bahamas trip, but for the last few and the next few weeks, my focus is on making our transition.
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Photo by Aziz Acharki on Unsplash |
Takeaways
For those of you who find yourselves struggling with those big life decisions, give yourself some grace, then look into your hearts with unstinting candor and come to terms with what it will take to be happy. Be true to yourself. The only wrong decisions are the ones that you refuse to move on from.
Any hey, if you want to trade places and give sailing and cruising a try, we know about a great sailboat ready to go right now! Here’s a 1-minute tour (click the “video” tab if this link doesn’t take you to the video).
Location Location
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Dana and Wayne aboard Gallivant in Fort Pierce City Marina. Photo courtesy Rolf. |
We’re at Fort Pierce City Marina, Fort Pierce Florida, 27 27.039N 80 18.219W, until our boat sells. Wish us luck. And we wish you a most excellent summer!
Whew! Yes, you do have the adventures – feeling your anxieties and de ission-making.
Right there with you, sister. Not necessarily about the passages, which, looking back, I mostly enjoyed. But there are other journeys to undertake, and other ways to travel. I think Covid turned us on our heads and looking at things from a different perspective forced some reappraisal. Best wishes for a speedy and painless sale.
Best of luck with the new direction, Dana. If Wayne can spare you, come on out to CA for the famous 150 Year Birthday Party on July 3 (Mom will be 90!) – a redux of the 110 Year Birthday. This time with Taco truck, mariachis and margaritas.
Wow !! Wishing you all the best for a fast sale & with the next chapter in your lives.
Excellent essay, Dana! For years, you have lived a life that many people dream of, without any idea what it entails. I have admired that … and I admire just as much, your decision to set it aside for now.
A very enjoyable read.
Wow, best wishes to you both for you new adventures and I am so happy to have been a tiny blip of your seafaring adventures and I do hope our paths cross again some day xx
I love your life !! Great people for a great trip!!
You had some great adventures and I'm sure there's more to come, maybe not as epic but that's ok as long as you're both having fun. Cheers!
We feel fortunate to be able make choices. I'll take the anxiety that comes with that first-world problem;).
We constantly comment that we lucked out with our timing. We shopped our boat back to Mex from Australia. Took almost 2 years to sell but we got full price. We have waited out Covid in our land house and enjoyed our little and big grand children; but yea now we are getting antsy. Maybe best to fly and charter.
You did well, Cindy! Sweet to return and enjoy the grandkids; one of the very best reasons to come back.
We did well on our boat sale in Australia.
We just didn't know we were done with passages until we gave it another go.
Yeah, we too could see chartering in our future, fly to where we want to sail, and go. Or crewing if the end destination appeals.
It's great to have options.
Thanks, Marce. Best for you and Jack, too. I hope our paths will cross again. Miss you guys!
Thanks for the invite—so cool! I'll see. Wayne's bday is close to yours so I want to spend his milestone with him, but after that it depends on flights. I'll look.
The 110 was cool. Remember it fondly.
Thanks Alice. Meanwhile, I am enjoying revisiting one of our all time favorite countries—New Zealand—through your adventures.
Wishing you and Steve all the best too, and hoping our paths cross again.
Thanks, Michael. Sorry we didn't get to spend time hiking or kayaking together in the 'couv but always appreciated being part of your gatherings. Your tribe is a good one.
I'm sure we'll be back in the PNW at some point and hope to reconnect in person again. BTW I got a peek at your excellent writing the the Vancouver library program. Maybe we can help each other out the. Drop me a line if you're interested.
Helene you and Stephen were indeed a good part. We were so grateful for your welcome at some of our other most challenging transitions.
I'm hoping one of those trips back to the States we'll get a chance to meet again and return the favor.
Thank you.
I believe they will be different but still awesome.
The secret to being happy is in enjoying where you are and finding the best in it.
Isn't life strange! Good to hear you now have a direction! Best wishes on the sale.
Thanks Larry. Like you, we do believe we'll still be out there on the water, just not long-term cruising and live-aboards.
I just read this based on your most recent post, as I had missed this decision. The decision seems to be "we're not sure, but sailing ain't it for now". Did I interpret that correctly?
I've always subscribed to the addage, "Wherever you go, there you are." Life has lots of twists and turns with new scenery and experience around every bend. You two are livin' it. Cheers!
Thanks, Doug. You and Nancy definitely embrace flexibility when it comes to dealing with what life dishes out, too. Miss you guys!!!
This foliage trip north is yet another example of the weather telling us to shift what plans we thought were set.